Wednesday, September 24, 2008

My Personal Transformation


Just wanted to give a low down on the transformation I am taking and what drove me to it, and so on. I've been watching the Real Social Dynamics Superconferences, and inspired by the "Transformations Superconference" I figured I should make a blog following my transformations. This will also be a place where I will post my fieldrapports as well as a few articles and tips on how to improve the game as I get along.

First post: THE ACE STORY

So, Who am I
I am a 21 year old man living in Norway, Scandinavia.. I work as an Operator at a Steel factory, and I don't have any finished education. Personally, I don't view myself as particularly good looking when comparing against traditional standards. I am already(at 21 years of age) starting slightly to see Bald spots on the side of my head(MPB).
I view myself to be very creative and a good leader. When writing essays at school I could often dish up 12-14 pages of story. And I've been praised at my work for my leadership skills.
My IQ tests give me a scory of about 120-130(internet tests, taken about 5 different tests).

Who was I?
The first girl I had a relationship with was at age 13 or so. She lived a 2 hour bus ride away from me and I knew her through my friends girlfriend(who also lived 2 hours away). I couldn't get a local girlfriend, that's how unpopular I was. I had kind of a beer belly(I didn't drink beer, obviously) and I was very thin and unathletic(fat belly, arms like matches).
I would travel to her every satursday, two hours each way, stay with her for like six hours, never getting past touching her breasts and go home again. Then I would call her and talk to her on the phone.
This relationship didn't last more than perhaps a month. But it is still very important to mention my first relationship, as that somehow set the standard for the others.

From the time I was 13 to the time I was 16 I had few girlfriends(nothing special - just kissing and third base). When I was 17 I met a girl I fell in love with, she was 15 and we ended up sleeping together, we were both virgins at that time.
Our relationship crumbled off course after about 4 months or so, and I went right over to another one, about 3 months later. Broke up with that one, about a month later I had yet another girlfriend.
I never found it too difficult getting new girlfriends, I guess I have somewhat of an eye for the "perfect prey". When thinking back on my "conquests", they all(or most of them) have something in common: THEY HAVE A VERY LIMITED SOCIAL GROUP

What I mean is, they were by all means attractive. I'd say 6s through 8s. But they all had that in common that they weren't popular and wasn't blessed with very high esteem. They were more the "Quiet/Nice girl" type of girl. With the exception of a foreign one I dated which just had trouble integrating and getting friends.

So anyways, about two years ago, I fell in love with this "fantastic" girl, I met her through work and we had a blast together. We stayed together for about one and a half year(my longest relationship) and were practically living together. Or at least we would sleep over at eachothers house almost everynight. And I knew her family and she knew mine. It was like we were already married and I loved it. I loved the sense of commitment, I loved sleeping next to her every night, I loved talking about buying a house and moving in together.

However, these great things never last, and about a year ago or so, this other guy started working at my workplace. I had recently changed shifts and he filled my spot and got to know her really well. I could see the chemistry between them. But at that point, I had already started to lose some attraction for her. My RAS were started seeing some serious flaws about her(unbalanced economy, stubborness etc).
I remember the night we broke up, I went to sleep over at her place. Hadn't seen her in about two weeks nearly. I could sense that I didn't really care either. So we were lying there in bed, thinking about what to do with our relationship. She admitted having developed feelings for this guy, but still wanted to give our relationship another chance.
I said that there were no point, as we probably wouldn't be able to reignite the feelings we had for each others anyway, and it would just be too painful if one of the person didn't resiprocate the emotions.

So I went home again, didn't even cry or anything. I had a feeling that this was the start of the rest of my life. I felt relieved actually, like a gigantic burden had been lifted of my shoulder.
The thruth is, that the last months that we had been dating I'd been so down. Almost to the point where I wanted to take my own life. Not sure why really, just not happy with myself at all.

But, driving home that night I thought, I'm gonna change my life. However, I didn't. I started working out. That was the only change I made really, and I still keep going to the gym.

The weekend after I had another girl over, made out with her and wanted to pursue a relationship with her. But, she told me she wasn't ready for a relationship yet, and I, the chode that I was kept buying her flowers and so writing her text messages every day. Finally she changed her mind and became my girlfriend. However, now that there weren't much "chase" anymore I suddenly lost some attraction for her, but I still went out with her for about four months. But, I was so disappointed, because this girl didn't feel the same as the last. She had other plans for her life, she was needier(and still is), she wanted constant validation from me.
There were actually nights where I cried myself to sleep thinking about my ex.

After four months I couldn't take it with this girl anymore, So I dumped her thinking it was going to be easy to find another one. But, for some reason I never got a new girlfriend(broke off with her in March, btw). I tried my random routines which were: Writing to them over the internet, and eventually reeling them in. Didn't hook ;)

Discovering seduction
In May this year, a friend of me had gotten hold of a .pdf of "The Mystery Method" on the internet and he sended over to me recommending I gave it a read. I read the whole thing, really enthusiastically about it, we went out and tried it. It worked to an extend. Still couldn't get the girls to come home with me.

So, the same friend got a hold of the RSD dvds for the "Foundations" superconference. We watched he whole thing during three days and went out practicing this stuff. We would make up our own Norwegian equalents of the Push/Pull lines, False Disqualifiers, et cetera.
And they worked, I could feel the girls giving me much more attention now and they seemed somehow attracted. Even my ex-girlfriend seemed attracted to me now(the last ex - even though she had a new boyfriend).

So, in the last 14 weeks I've been going out a lot, and studying Real Social Dynamics. Reading a lot of material. I've read the Game and found great inspiration in that book too.

What I want to become:
My dream and what I am working towards is to become a Flawless Natural. I want to be able to become a valuegiver, instead of just a value taker. I figured out after while that "The Mystery Method" was more of a value taking method to attract women, and I completely disagree with the fact that the woman should be viewed as having more value than the man.

After trying a lot of approaches(only bar gaming) I've built a somewhat solid core confidence. I feel 100% congruent in the frame that I in.
I really feel that I've come a long way in just those weeks I've been studying PUA, my biggest stickypoint was definately Approach Anxiety, but now got that somewhat covered.

In the beginning, I used a lot of Canned lines, but lately I've found myself just "winging" it as I go along. The reason for this is mostly that I've just forgot about them, I can't remember what they wear. Of course, I may come off as "Chody" to some sets, But I feel that the difference is really in confidence. If you are radiating with self-confidence you can basically do the "life-story-survey" and still get off at the end of the night(with a girl, haha).
Of course, I try to keep the girl at an emotional high all the time, with some role-playing and "The Claw" and so on.

So please, follow my journey and I will keep posting some field rapports, some tips and even some lines I've used succsessfully.

The transformation is starting! Be transformed!

Thanks for reading.